Containing jokes to tell children, a compatibility test for couples, and humorous quips for special occasions, his book is a truly unique collection. On her first day in her new job, Christine, a new school teacher, thinks it would be a good idea to try to bond with the children by asking each of them their name and what their father did for a living. I've themed the jokes under a number of categories. He then completed both a Pediatric Residency and Fellowship in Infectious Disease at the University of California at San Diego. Be careful and think of mummy, sweetest! I want this watch repaired, said David. One morning, the teacher asks her class, All those who want to go to heaven, please put up your hand.
Little Moshe is doing his homework. Then silence, while his elderly mother gives thought to what she has just heard. I learned that my name is David. For me, you are the Messiah. Sadie goes with her young son Moshe to visit her best friend Rifka and her young daughter Hannah, as they do every Sunday afternoon.
Nevertheless, if you are looking for a particular joke, hopefully you will only need to look under only a few themes to find it. The minister explained that he had just gone to the carwash because, in his religion, it is customary to welcome a new member with the rite of baptism. Minkoff, also a Scientologist, prescribed Valium and the muscle relaxant chloral hydrate at the behest of unlicensed Church of Scientology staffers who were trying to nurse McPherson, 36, through a severe mental breakdown. Is it true that after the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, they received the Ten Commandments? Moshe was still feeling fine. Then why do you have all those clocks and watches in the window? This time there was much arguing and shouting. A tax official visited a rural synagogue for an inspection. Thank you for this wonderful and expansive collection of jokes.
The book includes an appendix of terms for those who need to brush up on their kvetching. A: She sends him to work In this laugh-out-loud book, David Minkoff, collector of Jewish jokes, shares with us the funniest, silliest and unmistakably Jewish jokes from his vast collection. Shame on you boys, said Sadie. Klein, Sylvia Suchall, Boris M. I am so much better.
I said castrated, my sexual powers are failing. He also runs the immensely popular www. So what about candles after they are burned? As his wife was expecting their first baby, Rabbi Bloom went to the synagogue committee and asked for a salary increase. Leah and Moshe were ecstatic. From marriage brokers shadchen to bar mitzvahs and from schmucks and gossips yentas , there is a recognisable character on every page, and a rather handy glossary of terms at the back! Contemporary and traditional by turns, from young people, to couples and grandparents, this compendium of Hebrew hilarity is great fun for the whole family to enjoy. I guess the one about Noah and the Ark, where they floated around on the water for forty days and forty nights replied Paul. What do you mean, big trouble, little brother? But when they ask to see the baby, Sadie says, not yet.
Why do we have to wait until the baby cries? I try to keep the number of Hebrew and Yiddish words to a minimum so that as many of the jokes as possible can be enjoyed by Jews and non-Jews alike. Moshe, name a two-digit number. From rabbis to relationships, latkes to lawyers, and marriages to miracles, here is a feast of more than a thousand old and new Jewish jokes and witty anecdotes---and you don't have to be Jewish to enjoy them! Ruth replied, Are you joking? They were both very much in favor. From rabbis to relationships, latkes to lawyers, and marriages to miracles, here is a feast of more than a thousand old and new Jewish jokes and witty anecdotes--and you don't have to be Jewish to enjoy them! Q: What does Sadie do with her headache each morning? It was lunchtime at the Jewish nursery school and all the children were lined up by the teachers. So she asks him, Darling, where did you learn that way of doing sums? This has not been an easy task.
At the other end he noticed was a large pile of kosher chocolate chip cookies. When they find the rabbi, Yankel asks him, Rebbe, is it permitted to smoke while learning Torah? Rebecca was a kindergarten teacher. The older Morris got, the richer he got, the richer he got, the more women he had, the more women he had, the less use he was to them. Tomorrow you shall have one dollar. But Benjamin, where is your beard? As a clinical faculty member at the University, he also served as co-director of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Palomar Medical Center. Your collection has brought much laughter and cheer to these guys, most of whom have lost their wives and have few friends due to their age and inability to get out much.
So Shlomo went to see the rabbi while Isaac was kept at home. The next time soon came around so Beckie asked him again. Most important, I have to like the joke. David Minkoff is a scientologist too. Wondering what she has done with the money, Leah asks, Where is the 25c I gave you, darling? She told me that she only liked me as a friend. I was brought up knowing and loving God.